Joseph’s brothers betrayal was legendary. They sold their own brother into slavery, which was actually a reprieve from their original intentions of murdering him. Now, some two decades later circumstances (in truth, the Lord’s providence) has brought them back together. The brothers have come to Egypt to get grain to survive during a terrible famine. Joseph, because of his forgiving and loving heart, wants to trust them again, but he needs to believe in their honesty and repentance. He gives them three clear tests. These three tests are the same ways we can rebuild trust in our relationships.
- Tested in Honesty – In Genesis 42, Joseph initially meets his brothers and desires to test their honesty. He wants to know if they will tell him the truth. Whenever a relationship has been harmed by dishonesty and half-truths, in order for trust to be rebuilt there must be a period of testing honesty. We must prove ourselves honest in all things. To be dishonest in areas or to hide necessary information purposefully is to be dishonest in whole.
- Tested in Love – In Genesis 42-43, the brothers return home, having to leave Simeon in Egypt. Joseph kept Simeon captive and told them he would only be released if they returned with Joseph’s younger brother Benjamin. This tested Jacob and the brothers greatly in their love. Did they love Simeon or Benjamin more? At first Jacob would not let the brothers return with Benjamin. He clearly showed favoritism to Benjamin. For trust to be restored, there must be a period of testing love. Love is seen in actions and decisions. Love is seen by the heart’s affections and desire for the good of the other person.
- Tested in Sacrifice – In Genesis 44, after Benjamin is taken captive being falsely accused of stealing Joseph’s silver cup, Judah makes a pivotal speech. All the brothers had decided to return in Benjamin’s defense. They could have let him suffer his own fate, but they defended him and loved their father. Judah will explain their decision in a passionate plea to Joseph on his father’s behalf. He takes the ultimate step and offers to exchange his life for the life of Benjamin. He is willing to sacrifice himself for the good of Benjamin and Jacob. To truly have deep trust, the other person must believe you would sacrifice yourself for them, putting them above your own self.
At the conclusion of these tests, Joseph weeps and reveals himself to his brothers (Gen. 45). They are shocked. Joseph could reveal himself because he had rebuilt trust. He could feel safe to open up his heart again in love to his betraying brothers. They passed the tests. They were honest, loving, and sacrificial. They had changed from being dishonest, hateful, and selfish. They were trustworthy.
We can learn from Joseph. We should wisely test others. We must seek to restore trust, but it often takes time and patience. Both parties have to prove themselves. We should humbly expect to be tested ourselves. Before others will trust us they will often need to test us. This is why trust grows over time, because tests are passed. It is only through living and sharing life together and passing test after test that we are able to feel truly safe and trustworthy with one another.
