Oct 18

Holiness in the Midst of Struggling Families

by timschell via www.sxc.hu

by timschell via www.sxc.hu

This week’s posts have been on holiness.  The first one focused on our motivation for holiness and the second one compared a happy versus a holy marriage.  This last post continues the family discussion.

I ended the last post by asking:

But, what if my spouse isn’t holy? What if my marriage is miserable? What should I do then?  

In a study of Genesis one realizes that the great patriarchal family of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob was fraught with problems.  The book is filled with examples of dysfunction.  They struggle with honesty, adultery, deception, jealousy, murder, bitterness, and barrenness.  In fact, every family from a biblical perspective is dysfunctional.  Every family has struggles with sin, and thus relationship issues.  The issue is how much dysfunction exists in a family. The family you think is perfect has their challenges.  We often look at families from a distance and think they have it all together, but when we get closer we realize their struggles as well.  Family pain is often the deepest and most trying of pain.  It tears at our hearts and causes us great anxiety.

What do we learn from the patriarchs of Genesis.  They had real problems and sins. Yet, God used them mightily.  They sought to serve God.  They were dedicated to holiness.  In the midst of paganism, they continued to mature and seek the one true God.  God was their focus and trust. 

So what is our role in our struggling families?  It is to be holy.  This was Paul’s instruction to Christians married to unbelievers in 1 Cor. 7:13-16.  This is Peter’s instructions to Christian marriages in 1 Peter 3:1-7.  This may be a real challenge for you given your particular situation.  But God’s call for your life is for you to be holy.  For you to be His possession, His witness, His truth-bearer within your family context.  You cannot control others, but your job is to be holy.  We are to try and represent the actions and love of Christ (1 Cor. 11:1).  By staying in the family system and representing God’s holiness, we are able to change the family and impact others we love for good (1 Cor. 7:13-16).   

So don’t let your family struggles overly discourage you and cause you to quit your faith in Christ.  Don’t allow them to cause you to compromise your personal holiness.  The patriarchal family is a great example.  They struggled mightily as a family, yet as individuals and as a family they were still used for God because they kept the faith.

“These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth.”  (Hebrews 11:13)

Permanent link to this article: https://www.joshketchum.com/holiness-in-the-midst-of-struggling-families/

Oct 15

A Happy vs. A Holy Marriage

The world and Christians tend to speak of “happy” marriages.

We say they look so “happy” together.

We wish for a couple on their wedding day a “happy” marriage.

This is not bad.  I certainly want to be happy.  I want my kids to have happy marriages.  I want the couples of our church to have happy marriages.  I am thankful to be in a happy marriage.

But should Christians want the same thing as the world?  Maybe in some instances, but isn’t there a red flag when we do.

Consider the difference in a Happy Marriage vs. a Holy Marriage:

a happy vs a holy marriage.001

The focus is where the concern lies.  The focus is the primary difference in desiring a happy versus a holy marriage.  What is your aim?  What is your desire?  Is it to be happy or to be holy?

Happiness is about getting.  Holiness is about being!  

Holiness will often result in happiness.  It will give true peace, joy, and purpose.  It provides security, hope, and love.  But it is similar to a wave of the sea which comes over you because you are standing in the ocean.  You cannot force it.  Happiness will envelop your marriage like that wave when you live in the holiness of God.

The focus is not on our selfish aims and human feelings to gain elusive happiness, but rather it is on being what God would have us to be.

But, what if my spouse isn’t holy?  What if my marriage is miserable?  What should I do then?  That is the next post.  So stay tuned. 

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I owe much of these thoughts to David Shannon and some lectures he did on holiness in marriage at Polishing the Pulpit.

Some verses to consider:  Romans 12:1-2, Eph. 1:4, 5:11; 5:22-33; 1 Cor. 7:13-15, 1 Peter 1:13-15

Permanent link to this article: https://www.joshketchum.com/a-happy-vs-a-holy-marriage/

Oct 13

Our Motivation for Holy Living

norwegian-coastal-landscape-by torepaulI have been guilty.

Most other preachers are as well.

We often teach God’s commandments and desires for our lives in this manner:

This benefit is why you should obey this command.  It may be an avoided consequence or a blessing gained.

For example:

We tell young people not to be sexually active because of STDs, pregnancy, and emotional consequences.

We encourage our couples to meet one another’s needs so they can have a happy marriage.

We preach that drugs and alcohol should be avoided because they will ruin your life.

We share the emotional and physical benefits of forgiveness.

The problem:

This is not how God motivates us to holy behavior.  The avoided consequences and received blessings should be secondary motivations.

The primary motivation that God gives for us living holy lives is because He is holy.

This is the message of God to the Israelite people.

“For I am the LORD your God. Consecrate yourselves therefore, and be holy, for I am holy.”  (Lev. 11:44)

“You shall be holy to me, for I the LORD am holy and have separated you from the peoples, that you should be mine.”  (Lev. 20:26)

This message is given throughout the Old Testament.  Their behavior was to be holy and different from other nations because of who their God was!

This is the message of the New Testament.

Peter makes this exact thought in 1 Peter.

“As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”  (1 Peter 1:14–16)

Consider how Paul teaches in his letters.  He spends the first portion of the book dealing with theology involving who God is and what God has done in Christ.  Then he moves to applying this to how we should live because of these truths.  Often we find the term “therefore.”  Paul says based upon what God has done in Christ you are to live in a certain way.  (See Romans, Ephesians, Colossians, etc.).

So what does this look like in our teaching:

We teach our young people not to be sexually active, first and foremost, because they are representing God.  They have been “bought with a price” and are to “glorify God in their body” (1 Cor. 6:13-20).

We teach couples to treat each other properly because they are a reflection of Christ and the church (Eph. 5:22-33).

We call people to abstain from drugs and alcohol because their body is the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:20).

We challenge people to forgive because God forgives and calls us to do likewise (Mat. 6:14-15).

Jesus said, “You therefore must be perfect, as your Heavenly Father is perfect” (Mat. 5:48).

The avoided consequences and received blessings are secondary motivations for holy living, our primary and foremost motivation is to be like God. 

This is a much more powerful and enduring motivation!

Permanent link to this article: https://www.joshketchum.com/our-motivation-for-holy-living/

Oct 10

Generosity: What I Learned at the Pumpkin Barn!

The Pumpkin Barn

The Pumpkin Barn

On Wednesday morning the Homeschool Group, to which my wife helps organize, went to the Pumpkin Barn here in Graves County, KY.  There were over 60 of us in the group.  My family has gone for several years with our church preschool.

We love going each year. It is a beautiful country scene.  The kids have a blast and we purchase pumpkins and other Fall items.  But what is most impressive about the Pumpkin Barn, which is run by David and Donna Meeks, is their generosity.  It is a for-profit business, but that is not their primary goal!  David grows acres of pumpkins, gourds, squash, corn, and watermelons.  He works through the hot summer months to prepare for the Fall.

During the Fall he has school groups come out.  He told me he is booked every day between now and Halloween.  He gives them a hay ride, tells them about the plants, shows them how to make a bird house out of a gourd, and often gives away small pumpkins or leftover watermelons. They only make money when people buy items, which are very reasonably priced.

I have witnessed this for years now.  They do what they do because they love it.  They love the kids and showing them about the farm.  He loves the farm and growing plants.  But I believe they do it because they are disciples of Jesus; they have been taught generosity from the Master.  You see, they are members of the church and exemplify Christ in what they do in their work.  They have been great servants of the Bread of Life ministry here in Graves County which gives aid to communities during times of disaster.

With a family of four kids it seems that every where you take your family is just trying to get as much of your money as possible.  The Pumpkin Barn could charge for so much more.  It wouldn’t be wrong of them. People would pay it.  The American way says, they should!  But they are content and generous.

Ironically in my Bible study on Wednesday I read from 2 Kings 5:19-27 about Gehazi the servant of Elisha.  Elisha had healed Naaman the Syrian and refused his payment offer.  This apparently upset Gehazi who felt this was an injustice.  This foreigner should have paid for the healing he received.  Rather, than being generous and seeing that Elisha offered him something that came from God, Gehazi was greedy.  He went to Naaman and through a lie took a gift from him.  When Elisha discovered his duplicity, he asked him, “Was it a time to accept money and garments, olive orchards and vineyards, sheep and oxen, male servants and female servants?”  The implied answer is “No!”  It was a time to be generous.  To give, share, and bless without expecting or even accepting payment.

I left the Pumpkin Barn and the story of Gehazi more committed to being generous.  There are times we need to receive payment.  Our businesses must make money.  But let’s be generous, not greedy.  If you want to see what that looks like visit the Meeks family in Melber, KY.  You will find smiles and you will leave with one!  I believe the reason for such can be found in what our Lord said long ago, “It is more blessed to give than receive” (Acts 20:35).

 

Permanent link to this article: https://www.joshketchum.com/generosity-what-i-learned-at-the-pumpkin-barn/

Oct 09

Tested by Praise

 

Haiku Deck

Haiku Deck

We know:

Riches tempt us.

Pleasure allures us.

Lust entices us.

Suffering tries us.

But do we consider the praise of others as a temptation?

We should!  Satan is subtle and he often uses the praise of others to get us believing in our self-suffiecientcy.  He uses the praise of others to produce pride in our hearts.  We allow ourselves to be defined by the praise of others, rather than who we are in Christ.  We are ripe for the fall.

[notice]“The crucible is for silver, and the furnace is for gold, and a man is tested by his praise” (Prov. 27:21)[/notice]

We must be encouraged by the praise of others, but we must not believe the hype!  Following our Lord Jesus, means living a humble life that reflects glory to God!  We are the moon, He is the sun!

Our Lord stands as one who was less self-suffiecient than all other men, yet he seemingly had the most reason to be so.

This temptation of pride is difficult to see in our own lives.  Thus, we must be on guard.

How do you handle the testing of praise?  

“Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.  Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,”

(1 Peter 5:5–6)

 

Permanent link to this article: https://www.joshketchum.com/tested-by-praise/

Oct 06

The Golden Rule Applied to Marriage

by hisks from www.sxc.hu

by hisks from www.sxc.hu

“Whatever you wish that others would do for you, do also for them.”

The golden rule, which comes from the teachings of Jesus in the sermon on the mount (Mat. 7:12), revolutionizes relationships when put into practice.

However, I think we often misapply it when it comes to meeting the emotional and physical needs of our spouse in marriage.  In leading marriage classes and counseling couples I have found that most couples try to meet their spouses needs the way they want their needs met.  

Let me share some examples:

  • She needs affection through little notes and thoughtful gifts.  So she writes little notes for him and gives thoughtful gifts, because she feels that is what he will like and inwardly she hopes he will reciprocate.  He thinks it is nice, but it doesn’t do much for him, and thus he rarely leaves any notes or gifts for her.
  • He needs a recreational companion to go and enjoy sporting events with, so he goes shopping, watches a chick-flick, all because he believes it shows her his love, and inwardly he hopes she will reciprocate by going to watch football and playing tennis on Saturday.
  • She needs open and honest communication, so she shares her heart with him after a hard day.  She believes this shows him how much she loves and trusts him, and inwardly she hopes he will listen, respond, and share his heart back.
  • He needs a sexual relationship and feels love and connectivity to her through it, so he strives for intimacy.  When she delays their encounters, he mistakenly interprets her lack of desire as a lack of love for him.

We could list other ways this happens in a marriage, in fact, I bet you could make your own list. The mistake is we assume the other spouse has the same needs as ourself.  We then try to meet their need the way we want ours met.  This leaves both spouses frustrated and confused.  

Instead, we should apply the golden rule from this perspective, “Do unto my spouse as they want done to them.” You see this is still what Jesus is saying, but it is applying it to the needs of marriage.  It just involves an extra step of thinking and consideration.  I do unto her as I want her to do to me.  How do I want her to do to me?  I want her to understand my needs and desires and try to meet those.  Thus, I don’t do what I want done to me to her, I do what she wants done to her for her to communicate my love for her.  I must listen to her desires and needs and try to meet those, to keep on giving her what I want, isn’t going to communicate my love, but rather my stubbornness.  

Give it some thought.

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Some good “classic” books on marriage that teach this principle in expanded forms:

His Needs, Her Needs by Dr. Willard Harley

Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

Five Languages of Love by Dr. Gary Chapman

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Permanent link to this article: https://www.joshketchum.com/the-golden-rule-reinterpreted-for-marriage/

Oct 04

Kingdom Journal Released with Campbell Articles

Alexander_Campbell_1788Some time back I shared a couple of posts related to Alexander Campbell and my research related to an article I was writing involving his views of Jesus as the King of the Kingdom.  Freed-Hardeman has released this issue of Kingdom (Vol 2. Nu. 2).  You can access this and all of the Kingdom journal issues at this link.  They are available FREE of charge.

The latest issue focuses on Campbell’s views concerning the Kingdom of Heaven.  Dr. Ralph Gilmore the editor of the journal designed the issue well.  I have been able to read all of the articles and learned much from the study.  Authors for this issue include:  Ralph Gilmore, Scott Harp, Doug Burleson, myself, Danny Boggs, F. Lagard Smith, and Justin Guin.  

The issue reads pretty quickly and is very informative and thought-provoking.

By the way, I read the journal by downloading it and emailing it to my Kindle reader app.  I then read it on my iPad.  You can print it out if you prefer.

Permanent link to this article: https://www.joshketchum.com/kingdom-journal-released-with-campbell-articles/

Oct 03

Don’t Let the News Depress You!

from www.sxc.hu by kkiser

from www.sxc.hu by kkiser

At Polishing the Pulpit, a teacher for one of the ladies’ class told this story of her parents after their retirement.  They had lots of time on their hands and they watched the news on TV for hours out of the day.  She noticed their attitude was becoming more negative each time she visited them.  She decided to take them a jig-saw puzzle.  When she arrived, her father asked her, “What was the purpose of the  puzzle?”  She said it is because you all need to turn the news off and do something different. They didn’t realize what the news was doing to them!

The news is an entertainment industry. They are trying to keep you hooked on watching.  They do their best to make the stories interesting and appealing.  But the problem comes when we watch too much news.  Not only is it a big time waster, but it is also very negative.  Don’t believe me, consider these quotes:

“Media studies show that bad news far outweighs good news by as much as seventeen negative news reports for every one good news report.”¹

“Many studies have shown that we care more about the threat of bad things than we do about the prospect of good things. Our negative brain tripwires are far more sensitive than our positive triggers. We tend to get more fearful than happy. And each time we experience fear we turn on our stress hormones.”¹

Another study published in a medical journal found that “watching news on television triggers persisting negative psychological feelings that could not be buffered by attention-diverting distraction, but only by a directed psychological intervention such as progressive relaxation.”²

Studies have shown that the news significantly effects peoples worries and fears.

My Thoughts

  • There is so much negative and disturbing news today because of the technology and global nature of our news.  Consider how much news someone received before our mass media inventions.   Now when there is a problem in a far-off state we hear about it in minutes.  This additional news coverage only helps to create more negative news and more fear and worries in our hearts.
  • How much good really comes from watching the news?  I believe we need to be somewhat informed and involved in our present world as Christians.  We don’t need to just stick our head in the sand, but how much does it take to stay somewhat informed?  Do we really need to keep up-to-date on all of the latest crimes and political maneuvering?  Use the internet, local news sources, news apps to get the headlines, but don’t spend hours watching the news.  It will affect your attitude!
  • My thought would be to balance our news intake with other information we put into our minds.  In a marriage, counselors say it takes at least 5 positive to balance 1 negative comment.  Considering the news is 17 negative to 1 positive what should we balance it out with if we are going to watch the news?  Let me encourage you to read some good books, positive and encouraging blogs, Christian literature, and of course, the Bible.  Listen to podcasts or watch sports rather than the news.  Watch humorous shows or other entertaining shows rather than the news.

So maybe you need to go buy a jig-saw puzzle, find a new hobby, sit outside on the front porch, or find a new show to watch.  But turn off the 24×7 news coverage because likely you can’t do anything to change it and it will only depress you.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

(Philippians 4:8 ESV)

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¹ Taken from the article – Why we Love Bad News at Psychology Today

² Taken from the abstract about the Article “Negative Psychological Effects of Watching the News in Television”

Permanent link to this article: https://www.joshketchum.com/dont-let-the-news-depress-you/

Oct 02

Why The Gospel Meeting Preacher Seems Better than Your Local Preacher

Made with Haiku Deck

Made with Haiku Deck

Us preachers are used to the drill.  It happens almost every time there is a gospel meeting or seminar at your church.  It might even happen during the Summer series on Wednesday’s nights.

The visiting preacher comes in and delivers a wonderful lesson that challenges and uplifts the church.  Then the comments start,

“We haven’t heard preaching like that in years.”  

“That is old-fashioned preaching there, one of the best sermons I have ever heard.”

“I could just listen to him for hours, he has such a gift.” 

“That is the kind of preaching we need to hear.”

Sometimes it even leads to unrest in a church and elders trying to make preaching changes.

So I want you to consider why the gospel meeting preacher is better SEEMS BETTER than your local preacher.

  1. He is preaching his best lessons.  When he came he chose some of his best and most powerful lessons to present.  These are lessons he has preached before, maybe even many times.
  2. He is using all of his best illustrations.  He is able to use powerful illustrations that are fresh to you, may even be unusable back at home because of their personal nature, but they are powerful when used effectively.
  3. He has everything at his disposal from his tool bag of sermons, illustrations, and stories to use.
  4. He preaches without any emotional baggage or concerns.  He doesn’t know which couple is struggling.  He doesn’t think about how this will sound to the deacon he just had some tension with this past week.  He isn’t that worried who is offended by the truth of his message, because he is leaving town in a few days.  He isn’t focused on whether this unfaithful member he has visited this week will hear the message and respond.  He is just focused on delivering God’s word.  He can preach with more boldness and less anxiety.
  5. He is often more educated and experienced.  Typically the guest speaker is a seasoned preacher who has had more years of study.  He may be speaking on a specialty field that is his expertise gained through years of study and experience.
  6. He is speaking at a special occasion focused on his presentation of the Word of God and most listeners are more emotionally and mentally engaged in his presentation because it is special. 
  7. He uses different mannerism, gestures, voice tone, and sermon style than your local preacher.

I am sure there could be more reasons of why the guest preacher seems better than your local guy, but it may just be that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence!  He is new and different!  Maybe you have some frustration at your local preacher, his lessons may have grown stale to you, or your feelings have been hurt by him.

The point of this post is that you shouldn’t expect your local preacher to be equally as powerful in his speaking on a weekly basis as the visiting preacher.  This is the reason we do special speakers and programs to give an added boost of encouragement.  Think of the disadvantages he has compared to the visiting brother.  You have heard his best illustrations.  You are familiar with his style, mannerisms, gestures, and voice.  He carries with him to the pulpit the emotional and spiritual burdens because of his love and concern for church members.  He is gifted in different ways from the visiting preacher.

So as the song goes, “love the one your with.”  Determine to appreciate and encourage the local preacher you have.  He is the man in the spiritual trenches with the congregation.  His skill set may be different, but he has much to offer the church with your love and support.  And by the way, be realistic and know that the visiting preacher has warts too!  If you sent your guy to do a meeting at his church they likely would be thinking the same things!

 

Permanent link to this article: https://www.joshketchum.com/why-the-gospel-meeting-preacher-seems-better-than-your-local-preacher/

Sep 26

Meeting in Cape and Other News

If you are in the Cape Girardeau, Missouri area I would love for you to come worship with us at the Cape Church of Christ.  This is their website and address link.  The building is at 328 S. West End Blvd, Cape Girardeau, MO.

The theme of the meeting is Faith and Family

Thursday night – 7:00 –  Faith in Crisis

Friday Night – 7:00 — Faith that Brings Down Walls

Saturday Night – 7:00 — Being Holy in an Unholy World

Sunday 9:00 – Bible Class – What the Church Can Do For Families

Sunday 10:00 – Worship — Four Types of Forgiving Servants

Sunday 6:00 p.m. – Worship – What Families Can Do For the Church

 

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In Other Site News . . .

We have taken down the family site at the domain name – www.theketchumklan.com.  We did this for a few reasons:

  • I could not update it regularly.
  • We did not like the use of the term “Klan” which has negative connotations, though unintended on our part originally, as we were trying to simply connect it with the “K” in Ketchum.
  • We chose to go with two separate sites– JoshKetchum.com and AmandaKetchum.com rather than one, which then broke into two sub-sites.

Also, many of you have noticed that Amanda has not blogged in a good while.  The primary reason for this, besides her super busy life with 4 kids and homeschool, is that our home internet didn’t work well for uploading pictures.  So posts would take much longer than she had and frustrate her.  We changed internet providers, but are still having slow upload speeds.  So hopefully she can get back to blogging at some point, because she really misses it and desires to do it.

Finally, I know that the audio player is not working properly on the audio resources page for the sermons.  You have to download them and then play them currently.  You can also listen to them through iTunes on your phone or iPad.  I am trying to get this corrected.  Sorry for any problems.

Thanks for reading and I hope to see you at Cape.

Josh

 

Permanent link to this article: https://www.joshketchum.com/meeting-in-cape-and-other-news/