The world and Christians tend to speak of “happy” marriages.
We say they look so “happy” together.
We wish for a couple on their wedding day a “happy” marriage.
This is not bad. I certainly want to be happy. I want my kids to have happy marriages. I want the couples of our church to have happy marriages. I am thankful to be in a happy marriage.
But should Christians want the same thing as the world? Maybe in some instances, but isn’t there a red flag when we do.
Consider the difference in a Happy Marriage vs. a Holy Marriage:
The focus is where the concern lies. The focus is the primary difference in desiring a happy versus a holy marriage. What is your aim? What is your desire? Is it to be happy or to be holy?
Happiness is about getting. Holiness is about being!
Holiness will often result in happiness. It will give true peace, joy, and purpose. It provides security, hope, and love. But it is similar to a wave of the sea which comes over you because you are standing in the ocean. You cannot force it. Happiness will envelop your marriage like that wave when you live in the holiness of God.
The focus is not on our selfish aims and human feelings to gain elusive happiness, but rather it is on being what God would have us to be.
But, what if my spouse isn’t holy? What if my marriage is miserable? What should I do then? That is the next post. So stay tuned.
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I owe much of these thoughts to David Shannon and some lectures he did on holiness in marriage at Polishing the Pulpit.
Some verses to consider: Romans 12:1-2, Eph. 1:4, 5:11; 5:22-33; 1 Cor. 7:13-15, 1 Peter 1:13-15
