Who is the favorite in your family? Did you give an answer?
Favoritism in families didn’t end years ago, it is a problem today. In fact, all parents have to struggle with trying to not show favoritism. Kids often feel like the parents have favorites. Favoritism is shown to kids based on gender, temperament, birth-order, interests, and age. It can cause lots of problems for kids in their youth, but the affects often linger and multiply as children leave the home.
Jacob is famous for showing favoritism to his son Joseph (Gen. 37:1-4). Joseph was the first son born to his beloved Rachel. Rachel would die later in the birth of her second son Benjamin. Jacob showered his adoration and affection on these two boys. He demonstrated his love to Joseph by providing him a coat of many colors. This coat symbolized his esteemed and exalted position. It was not a coat you would wear for work, but a coat of privilege. The Bible says plainly that Jacob loved Joseph more than his other sons. This caused the brothers to hate Joseph. The coat became a symbol for their father’s favoritism. They would eventually rip the coat off of him when they were throwing him into a pit (Gen. 37:23). They sold him into slavery and dipped the coat in blood to fabricate a lie to Jacob about him being killed by a wild animal.
We can pinpoint one crucial failure of Jacob, that modern parents no matter the age of our children must not make. Our culture pushes the parenting idea of treating each child equal and always being consistent. Parents struggle because it is impossible to treat every child the same. They are different children, different ages, and have different personalities. So equality often is not good parenting. But it is possible, and necessary. to love each child the same! Jacob failed because he loved Joseph more. He clearly demonstrated this love through a monetary expression of this in the colored coat. Parents should love all of their children the same! Love demands we do what is best and put their best before our own interest. Love may mean each child is treated somewhat different, because they are unique and have different needs, but love is equally given to all. Children should never wonder does mom or dad love me less.
For Jacob, giving the coat of many colors wasn’t the real problem, the real problem was everyone knew he loved Joseph more than his brothers. They knew Jacob’s heart. May God help us as parents to communicate our love to each individual child meeting their unique needs so they know they are loved.
