In America we prize independence. We celebrate our nation’s independence each 4th of July. We conquered the West because of our independent spirit. This attitude has trickled down to our personal identity and relationships. We value independent men and women. We teach our your girls and boys to be independent from others. We say, “Get out and make your own way, don’t be dependent on anyone!” Women entered the work force in droves in the years since WW2 and thus feel independent of men. Men are taught that it isn’t culturally acceptable to depend upon a woman. This means you are weak and opens you up to possible pain and rejection. Thus, we are living in a culture which is shunning the commitment of marriage in favor of co-habitation so independence can be maintained. We live at a time where children are often neglected and needing nurturing because their parents are so independent. We are experiencing far higher rates of depression, anxiety, and drug addictions than previous generations. Countless individuals struggle with loneliness and feel no sense of community with others. Church attendance and community civic groups struggle because everyone is too independent to be committed to a group.
Is all this independence good? Much or our personal issues in relationships relate back to this ingrained ideology to be independent. We need to understand that we were created to need one another! Paul, rather than encourage independence in male/female relations, pointed to our mutual interdependence. He says, “For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man . . . Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman, for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman” (1 Cor. 11:8-9, 12).
We must realize the value of each person. Both genders are valuable and we must work together in society. This extends from general interdependence in society to intimate interdependence in marriage. In order for the home to be what it should, both partners must release much of their independence and do what is best for the sacred union. They must realize they need one another! This extends to the role of parenting. When a person choose to become a parent, they must release their independence and realize they are to give themselves to the new child. Their is to be a healthy mutual dependence in the relationship from birth onward that is always adjusting and changing. Individuals in our society must come to understand they need others for love, support, and encouragement. Paul would describe the interdependence of Christians in the body of Christ as being “members of one another” (Rom. 12:5).
Maybe one of the reasons we have so much division, loneliness, and hateful actions in our present culture is because of our determination to be independent. Maybe this is why so many are even rebelling against God, because they are determined to do it their own way. We need to swallow our pride and adjust our ideology. We must realize we need one another!
