I am a parent of four between 14 and 6. I know what it is to have kids arguing with each other and constantly playing in the house. I have three boys, so I am always playing referee to their indoor ballgame, wrestling match, or Nerf war. The longest part, and most uphill climb of my day, is getting the kids ready for bed, brushing teeth, and lights out. I must admit I get a boost of energy when I turn out the light and walk out! I don’t see how my wife does it all day!
We have high expectations for the kids. We are always pushing them in their school work. We yell at them, “Be aggressive!” when they are playing sports. We correct their behavior throughout the day. We focus on what we want them to be, and admittedly, see areas we want them to improve in and focus on those.
Thus, I have to admit I was humbled recently in listening to a man of three intellectually-disabled children talk about the need to delight in children. I was ashamed to consider the last time I just stood back and delighted in my children. In our pressure-cooker parenting culture that focuses on what our kids do, and how well they do it compared to others, we need to be reminded to delight in our children. By delight, I mean to just be thankful for who they are. Rejoice in who God has made them. God delights in us, and we certainly don’t always behave (Prov. 8:31; Is. 62:4; Ps. 37:23)! I believe God delights in every child. He delights in the mentally and physically disabled kid as much as the straight-A kid. He delights in the clumsy, over-weight kid as much as the three-sport all-star kid. He made each one of them unique.
This is what grandparents do! It is what we all do with babies. Yet somewhere between having our babies to being grandparents we let the tremendous pressure and expectations of parenting cause us to not delight. We look with critical eyes. We look with love, but not joy. I am not saying we shouldn’t discipline, train, or have high standards. I am just saying, we need to occasionally hit “pause.” We need to cherish and rejoice in who our child is at this moment. Rejoice in them and their gift as our child. A delighted-in child will not be spoiled or arrogant, but will feel loved and safe in the heart of its parents.
