What Would Your Wife Say?

Leo Tolstoy and wife Sofia at their 48th Anniversary

If your wife wrote a journal or spoke about your love and service to her, what would she say? 

Leo Tolstoy, the great Russian writer, tried to follow the teachings of Jesus, especially the Sermon on the Mount.  Yet, he failed miserably to live out what he preached.  His marriage was certainly not what God would have desired, and his faith and actions resulted in her having bitter feelings.  Here is what she wrote about him as a husband.

“There is so little genuine warmth about him; his kindness does not come from his heart, but merely from his principles.  His biographies will tell of how he helped the laborers to carry buckets of water, but no one will ever know that he never gave his wife a rest and never—in all these thirty-two years—gave his child a drink of water or spent five minutes by his bedside to give me a chance to rest a little from all my labors.”

One time after being concerned for his safety when he was out in a storm he returned to her crying and upset.  His reply was, “So what if I went out?  I’m not a little boy, I don’t have to tell you.”  She felt anger with him, saying, “I devote so much love and care to him, and his heart is so icy.”  

Sadly, Sofia Tolstoy is not the only wife who could say such about her husband.  But more importantly would your wife say such?  I know you may have your defenses and excuses, but is she bitter about your love and service to her?

The Holy Spirit inspired Paul to tell husbands to nourish and cherish their wives as Christ does the church (Eph. 5:29).  Husbands are to love their wives, which clearly involves serving and helping them in their tasks.  If you are not helping and serving your wife to make her life easier and communicate your love, then just expect her to be embittered toward you.  She will not feel loved, nourished, and cherished. She will feel used and unappreciated. 

What would your wife say?  Now do something today to serve your wife! 

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Sources:

The Jesus I never knew you – by Philip Yancey – p. 138

Website – http://www.theguardian.com/books/2009/jun/02/sofia-tolstoy-diaries