The Gift Your Spouse Really Wants This Year

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Have you got your Christmas gift for your spouse this year?  What are they wanting?  Is it a new set of diamond earrings or a new tech gadget?  While it is important to give your spouse a gift,  I want to suggest that what they really want this year is your adoration and love.  Men want to be respected, admired, appreciated, and built up for what they do for you.  Women want to be treated and viewed as special, lovely, and precious in your eyes.

We don’t often admit it, but all of us have insecurities and constant questions in our hearts.  We look to those most close to us to validate our questions with affirmations of our worth and value.  Paul said we are to “encourage one another and build one another up” (1 Thess. 5:11).  He also said there should be a “sanctifying” love in marriage wherein each spouse sets the other apart as special and unique (Eph. 5:26).

Here are five ways for husbands and wives to give their spouse what they really want in their hearts this year.

For Husbands:

1.  Write her a card, note, or letter expressing what she means to you and how precious she is to you; just list some reasons of why you love her, you can do this!
2. Compliment her on her physical beauty everyday.  Notice her hair, clothes, etc.
3. Go spend time with her doing something she enjoys doing (that might mean holding down a bench at the mall.)  While doing it, be sure and listen and be fully present with her (i.e. not on your phone all the time.)
4. Reflect and consider what you could do to make her feel special today.  It might be a text during work, a stop by McDonalds for a Frappe, or doing a chore for her.
5. Ask her to pray with you, and then sincerely tell God how thankful you are for her and the blessing she is to your life.

For Wives:

1. Tell him you respect and appreciate what he is doing for you and your family.  Make a list of several things you respect about him and share that with him verbally or in a note.
   
2. Brag on him when in the company of others for some ability or achievement he has done.
3. Snuggle up to him and watch some bowl games this holiday season or a guy show with him.
4. Be thoughtful of how you can make him feel special.  You want to be the queen of the house, so treat him like the king.
5. Initiate intimacy with him.  For most men the sexual relationship is a primary language in which love is communicated (i.e. it makes them feel loved and secure).

Paul said that husbands were to “nourish and cherish” their wives (Eph. 5:29).  Wives are to love and respect their husbands (Eph. 5:33, Titus 2:4).  We live in a world that is constantly pulling down our self-image and self-esteem.  Determine to be the one to build your spouse’s self-worth and self-esteem.  You treat them as special, lovely, and respectable.  It is godly and it will reap a great marriage.

What other ideas would you add to these lists?