The Mistake In the Genealogy of Jesus

Mat. 1-6.001The language is so stark, yet so common that you almost miss it.

But, when it hits you, you realize, that wasn’t right!  It is not supposed to be that way. 

You think, “that was a mistake!”  And you are right! 

Actually, it was a big mistake, and it got David in a lot of trouble.

I am talking about Matthew 1:6 in the record of the linage of Jesus.  The text says, “and Jesse was the father of David the king.  And David was the father of Solomon by the wife of Uriah.” 

The genealogy is progressing typically until this statement.  David being the father of Solomon is normal, but it is not supposed to be by another man’s wife!

The Bible teaches us that we are supposed to have kids with our own wife, right? 

Yet, here is David having Solomon with Uriah’s wife.  You most likely know the story of David, Bathsheba, and Uriah, if not read 2 Samuel 11.

But what lessons can we get from Matthew mentioning this episode centuries later. 

First, it shows us that our mistakes follow us, even the ones we might like to be forgotten.  Even though God forgives, the reality of our mistakes remain.

Second, it reminds us that God’s grace and providence works through our mistakes.  God brings good out of bad.  Through the years “illegitimate” children have often been treated unfairly.  In some respects Solomon was illegitimate and even the genealogy of Jesus has its “mistakes.”  Rahab, the ancient Gentile prostitute, is also a part of his ancestry.  Ruth the Moabitess was the great-grandmother to David.

Third, this shows us that every family has “mistakes” in its family tree, yet the family can still do powerful things for the Lord’s kingdom.       

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Don’t Just Give Your Kids a New iPad!

iPad Mini

iPad Mini

It was the Saturday after Thanksgiving.  I was at McDonald’s eating breakfast with my family.  I heard a mother telling about standing in line for a long time to get her child an iPad mini.  She said, it was worth it because, “she loves it, and is on it all the time.”

To which I thought,  she is going to love it, and she will be on it all the time if you let her!  Apple hasn’t sold millions of iPads because they are no fun!  

This Christmas millions of children and teens will get some type of electronic device.  From the latest Xbox and PlayStation consoles to tablets.  Smart phones are a popular gift as well.

I am surprised that many parents don’t consider limits on these devices.

Consider the Dangers:

  • Your child can have unrestricted access to the internet.  This opens up the great likelihood of them viewing pornography or being solicited by predators.
  • They can use social media and be influenced by friends and others.
  • Their mood and attitude can be affected by playing video games for hours.
  • Their personal relationship skills can be affected.
  • Their brain will be changed by constant media usage and even become addicted to it.  Don’t believe me check out this article by Newsweek.
  • They can miss out on many true joys in life like family, work, hobbies, physical activity, and God’s creation.
  • They can take inappropriate pictures of themselves and others.
  • They can watch and listen to movies and music which are harmful to their Christian faith.
  • They can read inappropriate books and websites.  See my post from earlier this year on this danger.
  • They can spend money quickly for games, songs, and anything else they may want.

Consider your Rules:

  • If you are a parent with any electronic media in your home you must consider your guidelines and rules.  This should be determined by the age of the children and your aims and desires for their lives.
  • How much time per day will you allow them to use the device?
  • How many hours per day will you allow screen time in general?  Do you leave your TV running all day and what are the kids picking up from it?  Do they have a TV in their bedroom and what are they watching?
  • Are electronic devices going to be used as a reward?  Some parents let children earn time on devices by good behavior.
  • How are you going to teach your children to be self-disciplined with electronic media?  Most adults struggle with this one.  I certainly do and often fail.  I am constantly trying, with the help of my wife and others, to guard the amount of time I give to electronic media and work.
  • If your child has a phone:  Who can they call or text?  Who pays the bill?  What time of night must they stop using it?  Can they use it at meal time?
  • How can you monitor social media usage like Facebook and Twitter?  How can you protect them from pornography?
  • Have you installed internet filters through your wireless network?  If not check out this link for a great free service through DNS.  But remember, if they access the internet through cellular then this will not filter it.
  • I could say more, but you get the point.  You need to really consider how you are going to hold your child accountable and monitor their usage.

Do Not Fall to this Trap:

Whatever you do, don’t fall into this trap if you are a parent.  Don’t fall into the trap of ownership and personal privacy.  Many parents have fallen victim to the concept that the child owns the device; it is theirs. That is what the child claims and that is how the parent treats it.  They then allow the teen to set the device up and control privacy on the phone, computer, or tablet.  It is considered an invasion of personal privacy and a ridiculous display of lack of trust by the teen if a parent wants to go through the device and read information on it.

My thoughts involve two ideas:  First, try to purchase family devices.  Don’t give your child a device just for themselves, buy it for the family and thus it is shared and you have regular access to it.  Second, always speak like you are the parent and you are the true owner.  Hold them accountable by regularly checking text messages, Facebook, and other apps.  It is not about trust, it is about parenting.  Our world is dangerous. You wouldn’t give them free reign in New York City, why would you give them free reign on the internet?

So whatever hot new electronic device you have for your kids this Christmas, don’t just give it to them!  Be sure you give them accountability and disciplined usage as well.  Then it will be blessing, and not a curse.

Parents, how does your family handle children and electronic media devices in your home?  

 

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Validate and Respect the Work of Others

by svilen001 at sxc.hu "Online Jobs Concept"

by svilen001 at sxc.hu
“Online Jobs Concept”

Have you noticed we all tend to think our work is more important than others?

Really, be honest, don’t you often feel disrespected in your work?  Like few really understand its’ challenges and your hard work.  The truth is–most don’t.  Do we really know the challenges of a junior high teacher, unless we are one?  What about the stay-at-home mother?  What about the work of an elder or deacon?  White-collar and blue-collar workers compare their respective works with rose-tinted glasses, both not understanding and often disrespected the other’s work.

Here is the thing, everybody’s work is important to them.  It has challenges and issues which we often have no idea regarding.  It is unique and valuable.  They are playing a role in the community, their family, and hopefully, in the kingdom of God.  They have a unique position of influence.

So here is my challenge for you and me: validate and respect others’ work.

So many of us are quick to judge, criticize, and envy the work of others.  We fuse about how they do their work or why they make it seem so important.  Those issues are for another blog post, but for now, consider what differences it would make in your relationships if you determined to validate, respect, and seek to understand the work of those around you.  You want them to respect yours, so start by respecting theirs.

“So I saw that there is nothing better than that a man should rejoice in his work, for that is his lot.” (Ecc. 3:22)

 

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Sometimes You Get Showed Up By Your Son

fantasy footballThis year was my first foray into Fantasy Football.  A family member began the league and got many of us to play.  I watch some football, but am not a fanatic.  I had an elders meeting the night of the draft, so the computer picked my team.  I actually got a pretty good team.  I scored lots of points the first week but got beat.  This was my first of five straight losses. I made lame excuses about not being able to understand the system.  Ashley, my sister-in-law, kept on me to  manage my team.

It was at this time, Austin, my 9 year old, was brought in as the replacement coach.  Ashley instructed him on how to operate the app on the iPad and phone.  He took to Fantasy Football immediately.  We had to limit his time on it the first week as he was trying to look at it every spare minute.  He managed my team and lead the team the first week to a win.  Over the last 8 weeks he has lead the team on an incredible turn around.  He has gone 7-1.  When he took over the team it was 0-5 and in dead last place.  Now the team has risen to 2nd place and has a 7-6 record.  He is thrilled and keeps us all up-to-date during the games on the progress of his team!

He will definitely make the playoffs and who knows how it will go from there.

I have taken a little ribbing about how pathetic I was at Fantasy Football and how I couldn’t figure it out, but my 9 year old has gone 7-1.  You know it doesn’t bother me, in fact, I am glad I lost those five games, because it has allowed Austin to turn things around.  I think this will be a regular theme over the rest of my life.  Being proud, surprised, and amazed at what they can do that surpasses me!

This Tuesday, Austin was leading singing at the Nursing Home devotional and a lady said, “that boy is a real wing-dinger of a singer.”  I replied jokingly, “I taught him a few things.”  To which a lady from church replied jokingly, “Yes, but it wasn’t song leading!”  So I am getting used to being showed up by Austin.

I don’t like losing.  I don’t like getting showed up.  But I have a feeling I better get used to it when it comes to my kids!  I already can’t beat him on the Wii, I only have a couple more years of winning in golf, but at least I still have basketball (I am still 6’5″).

One of the great joys of parenting is seeing your children excel in ways and abilities that surpass your own.  It makes you proud and grateful.  So as a parent sometimes you have to know when to turn over the management of your fantasy football team to your son, because he might just be much better at it than you!  Enjoy it and embrace it.    

I hope Austin wins the Super Bowl, after all I am still the team General Manager, I just got fired as the coach!! 

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Check out the redesigned About Me page for new pictures and information about me and my family.

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The Local Church is the Hope of the World

I have a dear friend who has spent his professional life involved in mission work and church planting  and now works in recruiting mission teams to plant local churches.  When last speaking with him, he noted how he is increasingly seeing more Christians who are not interested in church planting. There is a desire to do humanitarian service or good works in the name of Jesus, but not a desire to baptize and plant local congregations. Many young people and mission-minded individuals have bought into the idea of just letting the lost see Jesus through our works.  Bibles studies and trying to convert them to Christ through direct teaching is not seen as an appropriate approach.  This is a very concerning trend. This shift to a social-services based Christianity has drastic ramifications for the future.

A more biblical approach is the statement by Bill Hybels that “the local church is the hope of the world.” When we think about all the things making an impact for Christ today it is founded and rooted in the work of the local church. Foreign and domestic missions would dry up if it wasnʼt for the manpower and financial support of the local church. Benevolent ministries and humanitarian efforts locally and abroad are supported, organized, and carried out by local churches. The lost are won to Christ through the preaching, ministries, and efforts of the local church. Christians are strengthen, edified, and loved through the body of Christ; the local church. Jesus came to establish His church (Mat. 16:18). He spoke about members of the church being salt and light to the world (Mat. 5:13-16). Paul says the manifold wisdom of God is made known through the church (Eph. 3:10). The glory is to go to God and Christ through the local church (Eph. 3:21). The local church is the hope of the world, because it is the body of Christ (Eph. 1:22-23)! 

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Changing the Perspective

How do we typically apply the stories of Biblical characters?

We gain so much from studying these characters and the events of their lives.  Recently, I have studied the life of Abraham, who was such a wonderful character. God told Isaac, “In your offspring all the nations of the earth shall be blessed, because Abraham obeyed my voice and kept my charge, my commandments, my statutes, and my laws.” (Gen. 26:4-5).

Yet, when we study and read through his life we tend to notice and be perplexed regarding the shortcomings, failures, and sins of Abraham. The times when he told half-truths about his wife Sarah, and the attempt to produce an heir through Hagar, instead of trusting in the Lord’s promise.

It seems today in our application of these Bible stories we make an argument like this: “Abraham sinned, you and I sin, so don’t feel so bad.” This line of thought seems to be a prominent view in our culture which values understanding, grace, and tolerance.

The connecting of the sin of the great characters of the Bible with our own sin is certainly a biblical truth and has application. But let me suggest we should change the perspective a bit sometimes.

Maybe we should see these stories more in this light: “Abraham sinned, you and I sin, but he overcame it and broke through to moments of greatness.”

Reflect on that thought. It still teaches us how we can relate to these great Bible characters, yet it challenges us to break through to great moments of faith, hope, and victory. Rather than taking comfort that we are fellow sinners, let us take courage that we can overcome sin and accomplish great things for God. Your moment of great faith and victory may be right before you. Think about it.

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Thoughts about Ministry at the 10 Year Mark at Seven Oaks

This is a picture of us in 2003 when we first came to Mayfield.

This is a picture of us in 2003 when we first came to Mayfield.

On Sunday (11-24-13) we celebrated our 10th anniversary with the Seven Oaks Church of Christ in Mayfield, Kentucky.  I spoke about this topic and challenged us for the future in the morning sermon.  It is in the audio resources titled, “Reflection and Thanksgiving at 10 Years.”  In a way of expressing our appreciation we prepared a meal of b-b-que nachos for the church after the evening worship.  It was lots of fun.

Here are some of my thoughts and observations about ministry at this point.  I enjoy reading other preachers write about their reflections, so I thought I would contribute mine.

  1. Statistics regarding the 10 years.
    • 817 sermons at Seven Oaks
    • 91 Baptisms
    • 68 Funerals
    • 9 Weddings
    • Basically a 50% turnover in the church.  Over half of the families who where here when I came are gone (mostly because of death and age / we were a graying / dying church when I came).  Today, that half has been replaced by new faces and more children.  We are similar in attendance today as we were 10 years ago but have changed demographics tremendously.  This demographic change has been a key focus and vision of the leadership and we are thankful it has occurred.
  2. A minister may be the one getting paid, but his wife and family are a part of the job.  My wife makes my ministry so much better.  She helps me to be a better preacher, father, and husband.  She encourages me, gives me honest assessments of my sermons and ideas, and works tirelessly by my side.  Also, my children play a great role in our ministry and I am thankful for the parts they can play in it.  I would encourage other preachers to get your kids involved in whatever way you can.
  3. Much of the success and happiness of the preacher has to do with his relationship with the elders.  I have been blessed to serve under great men of God who love the church.  They are kind, encouraging, and respectful.  They are all close friends and we work together, rather than separate.
  4. Ministry with a church is filled with hills and valleys.  There are times of excitement and momentum and there are down times as well.  For me personally I even see ebb and flow in terms of Bible studies, counseling, passion, and sermon preparation.  You have to learn to see the patterns.  Don’t get overly discouraged or arrogant.  Many times the preacher is not the reason for the problem nor the success.
  5. Dale Jenkins wrote a great post the other day that hit home with me.  I even shared the point in my morning sermon.  It is this–great christians make great churches.  I know it is not profound, but it should shape a lot of what we do in our churches.  If you strengthen individual discipleship, you will strength your congregation!
  6. There is no substitute for years of being in people’s lives.  The walking with people in their faith over years helps a minister do a better job.  He knows the people, not just by name and face, but by experiences.  It helps them understand you and you them.
  7. Ministry has changed a great deal in a decade.  Technology has impacted ministry and preachers need to use it as best they can.
  8. My graduate degree and classes were a great blessing and will bless my ministry for years to come.  I am thankful I challenged myself and took the time to accomplish the Master of Divinity.
  9. Sometimes you need to fire yourself, go outside for a minute, and come back in and do what the new guy would do.  That comes from Andy Stanley, and I think about it often.  Sometimes we need to be fresh with ideas, willing to shoot dead horses, and capable of not letting baggage stand in the way.
  10. Divorce does great harm to the local church.  God hates divorce and so do I.  It has hurt the church, individuals, and many children.  We work hard to strength marriages because divorce is awful.
  11. Learn to delegate and not take too much on yourself.  It is often said that many preachers leave because they have over-committed themselves and don’t know how to reshuffle their schedule.  It is easier to leave than change the expectations and duties they have accumulated over the years.  You have to leave yourself margin in your ministry.  I rarely get things done as fast as I think I should get them done.  I rarely have a week without unexpected things coming up.  You have to leave yourself margin and delegate to others.   Sometimes I just have to lower my expectations about what I wanted to get done.  I leave most days, not getting as much done as wanted, but I stop, and let it wait till later.

These are my thoughts at 10 years.  10 years is not much for many ministers, but I hope these thoughts will help other preachers.  I look forward to learning more and growing in ministry.

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Bedroom Expectations Brought To Marriage

Rest and Relaxation by nelso47We did a marriage retreat this past weekend with a local church.  It was lots of fun and we hope a great blessing to the couples who attended.  I wanted to share one concept that seemed to resonate with the couples regarding the sexual relationship.

We come into marriage with various expectations.

It seems that many Christian couples come into marriage with these expectations:

Husbands — “Hollywood” view of sex

Wives – “Sex is Bad or Dirty” view 

 Let me explain these two broad stereotypes that fit many:

Many Christian men enter into the marriage relationship with a subconscious view of sex that is formed from the world and media industry.  This view often involves concepts that his wife is visually stimulated by his appearance, she desires sex as much as he does, and sex is to be “hot” and “passionate.”  He also may have much anxiety related to his performance and his role in his wife’s satisfaction.

Many Christian women enter into the marriage relationship with a subconscious view of sex as a bad or dirty thing.  Most all of the emphasis in the church and at home revolves around the dangers associated with sex.  Then with the cutting of a wedding cake it is all supposed to change.  But the programming for years, doesn’t just leave in a day.  So they often struggle to let down their anxiety, inhibitions, and enjoy sex.

This dynamic causes problems for many couples especially in the early years.  The different expectations creates disappointment, conflict, frustration, and challenges.  They often aren’t able or willing to communicate their true feelings on the topic, so they may not find a quick resolution.  It can leave the man feeling unloved and the woman feeling cheap.  It creates tension and conflict in other areas of life, because of the sexual frustration.

Once again the Bible has the answer.  We should not take our expectations and perspective on sex from the world or from an incomplete picture in childhood.  We must re-educate ourselves in the Biblical view of marital love and intimacy.  Intimacy in marriage is about two people being open with their feelings, emotions, and bodies.  It is about acceptance, love, and respect.  Great sex should be defined by the couple, not by the world.  It is about connection in the “one flesh” union of marriage.  Each partner should seek their own pleasure and give pleasure.  Adam and Eve represent this beauty, when they were “both naked and were not ashamed” (Gen. 2:25).  Song of Solomon describes the beauty of marital love.  The Hebrew writer describes marriage and the sexual relationship as honorable, which must be kept undefiled (13:4).

Couples should begin by communicating and talking about this area of life.  They should consider their own expectations, their past, and present emotions.  They then should seek to educate themselves on the Biblical view of the beauty and importance of sex within marriage.  

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Why We Bought a Farm

As I mentioned in a previous post, we recently bought a 20 acre farm in Graves County, Kentucky.  I thought some might find it interesting to know why we did such.  We thought through the decision over a period of time and continue to establish our goals and aims with the purchase.  This post is a way of helping me put my thoughts on “paper” and record them for future reference.

The Google Maps View of Our Property

The Google Maps View of Our Property

What we Bought:

We bought approximately 20 acres just outside of the city limit in Mayfield, Kentucky.  The land has some rolling elevation, includes a 2+ acre pond, some wildlife area, an old 5 stall barn, small block building, and some fencing.  It is located less than 1.5 miles from Amanda’s sister’s home.

Our Plans

We plan on raising some livestock for our own food and hopefully to sell as well.  We would like to raise grass-fed beef and sheep.  We will likely have some equine for pleasure and the kid’s experience.  If the cows work out, in the future, we would like to add some pigs for our own consumption.  We will have some chickens for eggs.  On the front of the property we hope to grow a few acres of sweet corn to sell locally.  Of course we will have a garden and desire to plant some fruit trees, berries, and nuts.

Reasons We Bought a Farm

  1. We want to give the kids a farm experience.  We have three boys who love to be outside and one girl who loves animals.  We have really enjoyed living on a golf course in a subdivision, but this will give us lots of space and freedom.  Though the farm will involve work, and more than we can ever get caught up on, we enjoy working together as a family and believe it strengthens our family.    
  2. We want to teach our children the value of work, food, and money.  We grew up working on the farm and believe in the experiences gained.  We are currently homeschooling our children and believe that the farm environment will go well with these studies.
  3. We are connecting with our own rural, farming background.  We both grew up on farms in Southest Missouri.  Though they were larger and much different, there is a sense of connecting with your own history and childhood that still comes through.
  4. We want to seek a simple, non-materialistic life.  It is not that living in the country will produce this goal, but we believe it will help.  The simple life of faith and family with enough time to strengthen both is what we desire.
  5. We are excited about building our own home in Mayfield.  While it already seems challenging, we are excited to plan and build a home.  Buying land and building a house are ways that tie us to this community and to the Seven Oaks church.
  6. We believe and hope that this will further our  ministry aims and desires.  Preachers are often viewed as outsiders and their children often bounce from one place to another.  Mayfield is the only home our children have known.  We are committed to the growth of the kingdom in Mayfield.  We hope this will work to further our outreach and respect in the community.    
  7. We are excited about living so close to family.  We are thankful that Ashley, Amanda’s younger sister, married a fine young man from Graves County.  Her and her husband, Wes Hays, bought a home and farm land earlier this year.  Our property is very close.  Much of our farming and gardening will likely be a shared enterprise with them.  It is a real blessing, for our entire family, to have relatives so close.
  8. We also bought the land as a financial investment.  We believe this will be a way of diversifying our investments which are primarily in the stock market.
  9. We want to learn and grow.  We look forward to learning and educating our kids about animals, farming, and home construction.

Concerns In Buying the Farm

While we have several reasons for buying the farm, we also had various concerns.  We haven’t overcome most of these, but are still and will still be managing and negotiating our way through these challenges.

  1. Financial risk and stress.  One of the primary concerns we have is not incurring a tremendous load of debt.  We want to build a nice home, but do not want to overdue its cost so that is hinders our future.  We hope the farm can produce some income in the future, but know it will not be that significant and will be several years down the road.  We are not going to build our new home until we sell our present home.  We are going to let the farm build slowly.
  2. Too much work.  We are also concerned that we will have too much work to do and that this could hinder our family.  It could also hinder our work with the church and family life if we do not guard against it.  We recognize that we must balance this issue and keep reasonable expectations.
  3. We don’t know what we are doing!  Another area of concern is that we are newbies at livestock farming.  I grew up with horses, but that was it.  We have never built a house.  We haven’t fenced or maintained a pond or this much property.  Ignorance is a concern, but we are listening to others, reading, and going to start slow.

Thanks for reading.  I hope you found this helpful and interesting.

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Does Salvation Exist Separate from the Church?

purchased / copyrighted photo

purchased / copyrighted photo

In speaking to those at Give-Away Day about their souls, I realized once again that many people feel saved, yet they have no affiliation, and certainly not regular involvement with a church.  While there are lots of important issues there regarding being a part of the church of the Bible and worshiping correctly, I just want to address very briefly in this post the thought, which is so common in our world, that you can be saved apart from the church.  

Frankly, this view shows a lack of Bible knowledge.  The pages of Scripture show the essentiality of the church.  The Old Testament prophecies its coming (Isaiah 2, Daniel 2, etc).  The ministry of John the Baptizer and Jesus was announcing the “kingdom is at hand (near)” (Mat. 3:2,  4:17, 10:7, Mark 1:15).  Jesus saw his work on earth as establishing and building the church; which is an assembly of disciples called out from the world to serve and follow Him (Mat. 16:17-20).  The Apostles established the church on the day of Pentecost by announcing the conditions of pardon and salvation (Acts 2).  The church is then seen as in existence from Acts 2 through Revelation 22.  The apostles formed and organized local churches or assemblies together under local leadership of Elders/Pastors/Overseers and deacons.  Christians were expected to assemble on the first day of the week (Acts 20:7, 1 Cor. 16:1-2) to participate in communion, offerings, singing, prayers, and study of God’s word.  It is a sin to forsake the assembling of the church because we are to encourage and strengthen one another (Heb. 10:25).  We are to worship our Lord and Savior.  When you are saved at baptism you enter a covenant with Christ, you come together for the covenant meal with fellow believers to study the covenant of Jesus.  The Apostles described the importance of the church throughout.  Paul said the church of God was purchased with the blood of Christ (Acts 20:28)In a specific sense Christ was dying on the cross for the church.  Those outside of the church are not saved and have rejected the grace of God.  Listen to parts of Ephesians 5:23-27, “Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior . . . as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water by the word so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing.”

We must not decapitate Christ from His body!

 

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