Feb 02

Balancing Optimism with Reality

We are eleven months into the two week period of slowing the curve! Each step of this journey has been met with various predictions of when life will be back to “normal.” But, it seems that all these predictions have come up woefully short. This wears on your nerves! No matter where you fall on the plethora of opinions on how to handle the virus, everyone is tired of the pandemic and life under its weight. So, what are we to do?

Jim Collins in his classic book Good to Great discussed the “Stockdale Paradox.” He tells about James Stockdale, a former VP candidate and high ranking Naval officer who spent over seven years in a Vietnam prison. He was tortured and abused terribly. When asked about how he managed to survive the terrible ordeal. he said, “You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end — which you can never afford to lose — with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.” Simply stated, the “Stockdale Paradox” is hoping for the best, while acknowledging and preparing for the worst.

Stockdale told of how optimists didn’t survive. They would build themselves up that it would be over by Christmas, then Easter, then Thanksgiving, and then another Christmas would roll around. They would eventually die of a broken heart. We must balance optimism and positivity with a healthy dose of reality. We must face the facts and wisely make decisions based upon these facts. We must balance optimism with reality.

The James Stockdale of the Bible is Joseph of the book of Genesis. Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers, but rose to prominence in his master’s home. After suffering from slander and being falsely accused of rape, Joseph finds himself in prison. He rises to prominence in prison. His attitude in each situation was godly, hard-working, kind, and patient. He will spend years in prison, not knowing when his release would come. Yet, Joseph remained optimistic, while aware of the reality of his predicament. He made the best of his situation each time. He would eventually interpret Pharaoh’s dream and be given second in command of the nation. Even when he will be faced with forgiving his brothers, he will maintain a sense of hope, tempered with reality. He will test them to see if they have changed and will honestly deal with his hurt.

I don’t know when the pandemic will end, but I know I must be optimistic about the future. It will end; this isn’t the new normal. I want more of the old normal and believe it will come. But, I also know I must deal with the reality of the current circumstances and face those challenges head on! Will you join me in this effort?

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Jan 20

Get Clear in 2021

2021 is moving quickly. Your New Year’s resolutions may already be slipping away. I have a good exercise for you to consider before more of 2021 slips by without accomplishing your goals. Consider this little formula, taken from a business book, for your life.

“Clarity drives confidence, and confidence drives commitment!”*

  1. Clarify your Aims. Spend some time reflecting what is your target goal for this year. You can’t do it all, but you can focus and do a lot! Get clear! If you want a stronger marriage, clarify that is your aim and goal. If you want to lose weight, clarify this is your priority. If you want to finish school, clarify that as your aim. If you want to get control of your finances, then clarify what needs to be done. You have to get clear on what you want to accomplish. If all these goals just hang out there as a nebulous cloud just drifting along, nothing will be your focus. The Old Testament leader Nehemiah got clear on his aim when he heard about the broken wall of Jerusalem. He determined to rebuild the wall.
  2. Clarity will drive your Confidence. Once you get clear, it will give you confidence. Each day when you step on that scale or check that bank account, confidence grows. Small daily wins build your confidence to gain more wins! You harness the power of momentum and focus. Your clarity will drive your confidence! When you get distracted and diverted in your focus, your confidence will wane. Nehemiah gained confidence as the people bought into his vision and started helping him rebuild the wall. With each stone and additional laborer their confidence grew.
  3. Confidence will provide you with Commitment. Confidence will give you the emotional strength and fortitude to be committed to your aim. Commitment involves perseverance, accountability, and focus on results. Commitment keeps your actions moving toward the goal. Nehemiah and his construction workers faced threats of violence from neighboring enemies. They had to be ready to defend themselves and were forced to overcome ridicule. But they were committed to reaching their goal, which they did in 52 days (Neh. 6:15).

Remember . . . . Clarity drives confidence, and confidence drives commitment! You can accomplish your goals in 2021 if you will get clear!

*Frank LaFasto and Carl Larson. When Teams Work Best: 6,000 Team Members and Leaders Tell What it Takes To Succeed (Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Pub, 2001) p. 169-172

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Jan 06

Letting 2020 Go . . .

Remember the time you were expecting a piece of candy or a pickle to taste sweet, but it was bitter? It sent a shock to your taste buds. You quickly had to get something to drink in order to get the taste out.

You may feel like you need to wash the bitterness left in your mouth from 2020 out as well. Many people are dealing with anger, bitterness, frustration, resentment, and other negative emotions coming out of 2020. God tells us to “let all bitterness and wrath and anger . . . be put away from you along with all malice” (Eph. 4:31). It is good for us to wash away bitterness.

Fredrik Backman wrote, “Bitterness can be corrosive. It can rewrite your memories as if it were scrubbing a crime scene clean, until in the end you only remember what suits you of its causes.” If we are not careful we will only remember 2020 with bitter taste. As 2021 goes by we can even nurse and feed that bitterness, so that it even grows. So please consider three ways to wash the 2020 bitterness away from your heart.

First, choose to find some blessings and positives that happened in 2020. We are to be thankful in everything (Col. 3:15, Phil. 4:6). Everything wasn’t bad in 2020. We all received numerous blessings, enjoyed some good times, and learned lessons. Focus on the positives rather than dwelling on the negatives that produce bitterness.

Second, allow yourself some emotions and grief from 2020. Bitterness is like the root of a plant. It lives underground, but feeds the plant that is seen (Heb. 12:14-15). You may not know that bitterness is fueling your apathy, depression, anger, alcoholism, or relationship struggles. You need greater self-awareness of the emotions that are driving your actions. Recognize that you were hurt, have reason for anger, or suffered losses that were out of your control. There is likely real validity to the hurt or loss you experienced. Grieve and honor the loss and frustration you experienced. Quit denying it as an experience and own the emotions. It is only through owning them that you can let them go (Col. 3:13).

Third, determine to press on toward the goal in 2021. Paul, who dealt with some rough years, said, “But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind an straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 3:13-14). We have to move forward in life. Make peace with the past (see the first two points), then move forward with optimism, faith, and hope. There is work to be done for the Lord. We have to strain ahead and focus on the opportunities, blessings, and work this year.

Did 2020 leave you with a bitter taste? Give some immediate attention to washing that taste out and moving out in 2021. Remember God knows what is best for you, and He said to let all bitterness be put away (Eph. 4:31).

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Dec 16

A Boring December


This has been a Christmas season like no one can remember. December has the reputation of being one of the busiest months of the year. This year, I am hearing the opposite from young and old alike. Kids are bored because they aren’t in school and miss their holiday programs and parties. Adults don’t enjoy office or church Christmas parties. Even many families are canceling or scaling down their Christmas celebrations. We are missing attending plays, basketball games, and concerts. It is a special treat this year just to be able to go out to eat! In another ironic twist of 2020, we are having what we never thought possible–a slow December with a boring Christmas.

Four thoughts on handling a boring December.

  1. Choose to embrace and enjoy the slower pace. Every other year we complain about busyness and the stress of the season. Just like fickle humans, we now have too much time so we lament our boredom. Embrace the slow pace as a rare holiday opportunity. Choose to see the time at home as an opportunity that isn’t normally afforded this time of year.
  2. Find ways to pour love into others who are struggling. Some folks are really struggling this year; older people in particular who have been so limited in their activities all year. Now the days are short, the nights long, and there is nothing to look forward in many people’s week. Simple gestures of taking someone a poinsettia, giving Christmas cookies, calling a friend, sending a card, or going for a walk in the neighborhood together can make a huge difference. Instead of feeling down about your slow life, choose to bless someone who is hurting! You will gain joy too.
  3. Allow this boring December to cause you to appreciate the busy Decembers of past and future. December is a time of reflection of holidays past. We remember our childhood or times when our kids were young. This year we are missing some annual traditions. Choose to reflect and be grateful for those busy activities filled with fellowship, laughter, and conversation. Maybe we enjoyed our busy Decembers far more than we realized. Consider what you are going to cherish even more in 2021 because you didn’t get to do it this year.
  4. Don’t miss the essence of the season because of boredom. Each year we hear warnings of not missing the “reason for the season” because of all the chaos, busyness, and materialism of the holidays. This year we need to remind ourselves that the meaning of the holidays is not changed because of our social calendars. Christmas is still a time when we as a culture can reflect upon Christ coming to this earth to save mankind. It is still a time of love, joy, and celebration with family and for what they mean to us. December was never really about the activities and chaos, it was about the people and the love we share for one another. A boring Christmas could help us celebrate and embrace those closest to us even more. This year, maybe we can not only give presents, but also our presence like never before.

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Dec 09

Guilt Found in a Right Ear

I cracked my wife’s phone by dropping it accidentally in the garage. Every time I look at the phone, I think about this mistake–while also mindful of her forbearance with me. I had a van one time that had a big dent in the side, that was received from a deer who decided to come flying at me as I was driving down the road. Every time I saw that dent, I thought of that deer and the unfortunate episode. I have a huge knob on my right collar bone, where it healed from being shattered. There is no wild adventure story to how it happened, I fell off a bike when I was in college and broke it. I haven’t forgotten, though it was over 23 years ago. I am sure you have many daily reminders of past episodes too.

I thought of my regular reminders of past mistakes when I read that Malchus was the High Priest’s servant in John 18:10. Malchus worked for Caiaphas, who is the High Priest who will lead the Jewish trials against Jesus and worked to have Jesus killed. Malchus, the man with the most famous right ear in history, had gone with the Roman soldiers and Judas to arrest Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane. Peter who was determined to defend Jesus, pulled his sword and apparently tried to kill Malchus, but only cut off his right ear. Jesus, in a expression of compassion and power, will touch his ear and heal it (Luke 22:51).

You know the rest of the story; Jesus will go on to be crucified and resurrected the following Sunday. Caiaphas will serve as High Priest another three years (36 AD). It seems likely that Malchus would have remained his servant. Consider the thought that he had to look at that ear every day. Every time he saw his servant he was reminded of killing a man who claimed to be the Messiah and proved it by healing his servant’s ear he sent to arrest him. He knew the truthfulness of Jesus miracles, like the resurrection of Lazarus (John 11). He would have known the tomb was empty. He lived during the time when thousands would come to Christ and establish a new religion based on Jesus. Every day that he saw that ear he was reminded of his part!

There is no record that Caiaphas ever converted to Christ. He will oppose the Apostles preaching of Jesus in Acts. But I can’t help but think in his heart-of-hearts he looked at that ear sometimes and thought, “I made a big mistake.” But he was too prideful and socially positioned to admit it. What constant reminders is God giving you in your life (Rom. 1:19-20)? Don’t be hard-hearted and refuse to acknowledge your sins and failures! Turn to Jesus in repentance and faith. He is giving you the reminder for a reason.

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Dec 02

God Heard the Cry of the Boy

Hagar had reached her breaking point. She had been sent away from her providers into the wilderness with only some bread, water, and her young son. The water bag had given its last drop. She put the child under some bushes and went a little ways off preparing for his and her eventual deaths. Should could not bear to look upon her son any longer. She sat down and wept. The boy began to cry too. Picture this desert scene with mom and baby boy both crying a distance apart in desperation.

An angel of God will call to Hagar and say, “Fear not, for God has heard the cries of the boy where he is” (Gen. 21:17). She is instructed to pick the child back up. Today, will not be their last day! Her eyes were opened to see a well of water. They are refreshed!

This is the story of Hagar and Ishmael in the book of Genesis (21:8-21). This graphic story reminds me of the boys and girls crying in our nation today. These children are desperate and often alone.

Consider the following . . .

  • Children are more isolated from friends, teachers, and extended family than ever before.
  • Child abuse is on the rise in 2020 because of the pandemic.
  • Child abuse is going undetected in many cases because one of the largest detectors of child abuse victims are educators.
  • Children are spending more hours in front of screens playing games and watching TV.
  • Children are being exposed to predators and pornographic materials at staggering rates and young ages which also is an increased threat in 2020 with the amount of time children have using electronics.
  • Neglect is another significant consequence of the pandemic. Children, in many cases, are not having their basic needs met of food, love, protection, and care.
  • Drug and alcohol abuse has increased along with depression and anxiety in adults. All of these factors mean the children in the adults lives feel the effects.

Each of these crying children are heard by God! God knows. As I relate this ancient story from Genesis, I can’t help but see the same idea today. Parents stressed out, drug addicted, out of work, or just swamped from all their demands are having to set their children aside. Parents are often desperate. Children are left alone to cry!

This means two clear things . . . First, God will hold us accountable for how we treat our kids; our own especially, but even those of our neighborhoods. We need to love kids. Give kids in your life extra attention, love, and care. Turn off the screens and spend some time with them; they may protest at first, but it is what they need. Determine to protect them from harmful influences. If you are struggling with drugs, alcohol, depression, or child abuse get help! Do it for your child! Second, God has a deep compassion for kids. God loves and rescues those that cry to Him. Don’t think that any hurting, abused child’s cries goes unheard. God hears. He will rescue. He will judge.

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Nov 18

Can We Be Thankful in 2020?

2020 has been a depressing year! It has been a year we would like to forget, but surely will not be able to forget. We could never have predicted–toilet paper shortages, no March Madness, virtual schooling, church cancellations, mask wearing, election nightmares, a pandemic, and even cancelled holiday gatherings. It has been a surprising, difficult, and truly, historic year. You have lived through it–but that is another part of the puzzle many didn’t live through it with the thousands dying from the virus.

So now comes Thanksgiving. Should we change it to lamentsgiving this year? Should we just skip it, because we don’t have anything to be thankful for this year?

Before we throw away thanksgiving to God and have our own pity party for what we have endured in 2020, let me suggest we consider these Bible stories . . .

  • The Israelites were expected to offer thanksgiving offerings as a part of the Law of Moses when they were wandering around the wilderness for forty years eating manna everyday (Lev. 7:12-15).
  • Israel endured many wicked kings, Babylonian captivity, famines, and pestilence throughout the Old Testament and God expected them to “enter His gates with thanksgiving, and His courts with praise” (Ps. 100:4).
  • The righteous patriarch Job chose to give praise and blessings to the Lord after Satan brought destruction upon his wealth and family (Job 1:20-22).
  • Jonah offered thanksgiving to the Lord from a belly of a whale (Jonah 2:9).
  • Jesus offered thanksgiving to God in the upper room when telling about his upcoming death, surrounded by Apostles arguing about who was the greatest–one of which was a traitor and thief (Mat. 26:27).
  • Paul and Silas offer songs and prayers to God while in shackles and in prison (Acts 16:25).
  • Paul commanded thanksgiving in our prayers while he was in prison instructing the Philippians to rejoice in the Lord (Phil. 4:4-7).
  • In Revelation, we see the persecuted saints encouraged to give thanks despite their own predicament of possible martyrdom (Rev. 7:12. 11:17).

But even our own American history is filled with people who chose to give thanks despite their difficulty. Consider . . .

  • The Pilgrims of Plymouth had regular days and feasts of Thanksgiving which gives us the tradition of our modern Thanksgiving.
  • George Washington and Congress ordered a national day of thanksgiving in 1789 because of the Lord’s blessings before the war, during the war, and now in establishing a Constitution.
  • Abraham Lincoln proclaimed a national day of thanksgiving in November of 1863. This was in the midst of the horrific and terrible Civil War, yet they offered thanksgiving.
  • Our nation chose to stop and give thanksgiving during World War 1 and 2. Families gathered despite the turmoil of the sixties and the losses in Vietnam and Korea.
  • Our nation celebrated Thanksgiving in 1918 with extra incentive since WW1 just ended, but also despite a pandemic of the Spanish Influenza.
  • Our nation celebrated Thanksgiving in November following the terrorist attacks on our nation in September of 2001.

As Christians and as Americans we are a people who have endured tough times, yet thanksgiving has been a constant thread through our history both in the Bible and in America. This is not just seen in our holiday gatherings, but chiefly in our daily prayers and speech we use to constantly offer praise and thanksgiving for the many blessings we have received.

Can we be thankful in 2020? Yes! We must be thankful in 2020; to be otherwise would go against all the teachings and examples of Scripture and our forefathers in America. We have an abundance of reasons to be thankful, so let’s open our hearts and minds with an attitude of thanksgiving to one another and God in 2020.

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Nov 11

Presence and Prayer

Our Lord was sorrowful and troubled. His heart was awash with emotions and feelings. His mind was confused with different desires. The greatest of conflicts was going on within his mind–would it be God’s will or the Son’s will?

A day full of activity had finally come to a close. As the clock approaches midnight, Jesus is finally able to break away for personal prayer. But the prayer of this night is different. Cries and tears fill this prayer (Heb. 5:7). His legs will not hold him up as he falls on his face in prayer. Christ is in the garden of Gethsemane. The cross looms large before Him. Soon Judas will be there to betray him in the middle of the night. But now is the time for prayer.

There is a conflict going on within the heart and mind of Christ, which must be resolved before the story can continue. Man’s trouble began in a garden long ago (Genesis 3), so it is fitting that our Lord will struggle with the cup of suffering and bitterness that He has been asked to drink here in a garden. Christ fervently prays for the cup to pass three times, but three times He yields to the will of His Father. He surrenders and models for us what it means to say, “not my will, but thy will” (Mat. 26:39). Christ learns obedience (Heb. 5:7-8). The cross will be met with resolute determination the following day because of this time of prayer.

While it is hard to take our thoughts and minds off of the agony and suffering of Jesus, let’s turn our attention briefly to his three closest disciples in the garden that evening. He brought Peter, James, and John with him (Mat. 27:36). Their job was simple–watch and pray (Mat. 26:41). Yet, they slept. They went to sleep each time Christ went away to pray. He would return to wake them up and encourage them to pray.

Christ didn’t need their words. They weren’t needed to say the right thing or read the perfect Old Testament Psalm for the occasion. Christ needed their presence. At a time of great loneliness, when he was waging his own personal battle, He needed his friends to be there. Christ needed their prayers. In fact, they needed their prayers. Consider how the night may have gone differently for these three if they would have prayed as Christ instructed–“watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation” (Mat. 26:41). But their eyes were heavy and they slept. It was after their bedtime and they just couldn’t be there for the Lord during this time of great need. They didn’t understand the conflict he was going through. Their anxiety in no way matched his anxiety, or they could not have slept.

What do our friends need from us in times of suffering, grief, conflict, and stress? They need our presence and prayers. They need us to sit with them, They need us to pray fervently for them. They need us to not drift away into our own pursuits, but just be there. Presence and prayers–something every Christian can offer as a ministry of Christ. It is also something everyone of us need.

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Nov 04

Does the Milk Get in the Bowl?

A few years ago, Costco redesigned the shape of its milk containers. The spout was larger and the container taller and skinnier, giving it a more cylindrical shape. They told customers the new shape allowed for easier, more efficient stocking and delivery, and was thus cost-effective. They could sell milk cheaper and with a better style with the new form. The problem came when customers took the milk home. It fit in the refrigerator nicely, but when you poured the milk into a bowl or glass it hugged the side of the container and spilled on the kitchen counter. Thousands expressed this frustration and problem online.

The outward style and design may have been significantly better for shipping, delivery, storage, and appeal, but it failed in functionality. The milk could not get in the bowl! They forgot the most important thing–it’s about the milk, not the container.

We can easily make the same mistake. Let me give you three ways we can fail to get the milk in the bowl.

We can come to believe a church’s outward structure is more important than the message. The container for a church is the building and its programing. These may look good or even be designed in the latest styles, but if they are not functional in helping deliver the milk (the gospel) then they are failing. A church should exist to be the body of Christ (Eph. 1:22-23). A church should hold forth the message of the gospel to sin-sick and dying individuals in need of hope. The outward structure may be impressive, but the real substance is the message of truth sent out through those tools.

We can fail to get the milk in the bowl when it comes to how we approach marriage. We have elaborate wedding ceremonies that cost thousands. We have made the entire dating, engagement, and wedding process into a series of momentous events worthy of social media. Weddings are planned for months and hours of preparation go into their success. Yet, we can fail to actually get the milk in the bowl, if we neglect preparing for the commitment and sacrifices of marriage. Sadly, some marriages don’t last as long as the months spent preparing for the wedding. The point of a marriage is not a memorable engagement or fancy wedding, it is two people committed to loving each other til death. That’s the milk we have to get in the bowl.

Last, many are failing to get the milk in the bowl with their finances. Their outward appearance in the clothes they wear, the car they drive, and the lifestyle they keep looks good. The ease of consumer debt makes this appearance easy to get and keep up in our culture. Yet, spending more than you make will never work. That container will always spill milk! Functional finances always require you to be disciplined, budget your money, control your spending, give to worthy causes, and save for the future. These time-honored principles don’t look sleek or stylish like the latest fad or new car, but they always get the milk in the bowl.

Are you putting style over substance? Are you buying a sleek, trim container that looks good, but doesn’t get the milk into the bowl?

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Oct 28

Responding to Pressure

Pressure changes outcomes. We watch live sports because it is exciting to see what will happen in the heat of the battle. When the championship is on the line the athletes feel the pressure. Some rise to the occasion and perform in exceptional ways, while others will fold. Both responses are gripping to watch and witness.

Saul, the ancient king of Israel, responded different to pressure throughout his reign. Once while waiting to fight the Philistines he felt the pressure to offer a sacrifice to the Lord. He waited seven days for Samuel the priest to come and offer the sacrifice, but when Samuel was delayed in coming, he allowed the pressure from the people to cause him to offer the sacrifice himself. This was unlawful and violated God’s command (1 Sam. 13:1-15). Later, in conquering the Amalekites he would give into the pressure of the people’s greed in wanting to keep the valuable items. When he was told to destroy the spoils of war by God, he chose to keep the best of the sheep, oxen, and calves. Saul’s failure under pressure will cause him to lose his kingdom (1 Sam. 15).

Later, Saul will have pressure placed upon him from Goliath and his army to meet the Philistine opponent (1 Sam. 17). For forty days Goliath has hurled insults and challenges at Israel demanding they send someone to face him in battle. Saul, who was described as being a head taller than anyone else (1 Sam. 9:2), as the leader of his army should have met the challenge. He refused to allow the pressure to cause him to do what was right. Instead, a young shepherd boy named David, who had come to camp to check on his brothers, courageously met the challenge, because he could not bear to see the army of God defiled.

So on two occasions Saul allowed pressure to cause him to do what was wrong, while on another occasion he refused to allow pressure to cause him to do what was right. An interesting observation for our lives. Do we allow pressure to cause us to do wrong, but resist positive pressure to be courageous and good? You are going to have times of pressure and stress. You are going to feel pushed and pulled in certain directions by others. How will you respond? Don’t let it cause you to do wrong, but do be willing to step up and act when it is right and good. Saul struck out when the game was on the line! Don’t be like Saul!

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