Holiness in the Midst of Struggling Families

by timschell via www.sxc.hu

This week’s posts have been on holiness.  The first one focused on our motivation for holiness and the second one compared a happy versus a holy marriage.  This last post continues the family discussion.

I ended the last post by asking:

But, what if my spouse isn’t holy? What if my marriage is miserable? What should I do then?  

In a study of Genesis one realizes that the great patriarchal family of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob was fraught with problems.  The book is filled with examples of dysfunction.  They struggle with honesty, adultery, deception, jealousy, murder, bitterness, and barrenness.  In fact, every family from a biblical perspective is dysfunctional.  Every family has struggles with sin, and thus relationship issues.  The issue is how much dysfunction exists in a family. The family you think is perfect has their challenges.  We often look at families from a distance and think they have it all together, but when we get closer we realize their struggles as well.  Family pain is often the deepest and most trying of pain.  It tears at our hearts and causes us great anxiety.

What do we learn from the patriarchs of Genesis.  They had real problems and sins. Yet, God used them mightily.  They sought to serve God.  They were dedicated to holiness.  In the midst of paganism, they continued to mature and seek the one true God.  God was their focus and trust. 

So what is our role in our struggling families?  It is to be holy.  This was Paul’s instruction to Christians married to unbelievers in 1 Cor. 7:13-16.  This is Peter’s instructions to Christian marriages in 1 Peter 3:1-7.  This may be a real challenge for you given your particular situation.  But God’s call for your life is for you to be holy.  For you to be His possession, His witness, His truth-bearer within your family context.  You cannot control others, but your job is to be holy.  We are to try and represent the actions and love of Christ (1 Cor. 11:1).  By staying in the family system and representing God’s holiness, we are able to change the family and impact others we love for good (1 Cor. 7:13-16).   

So don’t let your family struggles overly discourage you and cause you to quit your faith in Christ.  Don’t allow them to cause you to compromise your personal holiness.  The patriarchal family is a great example.  They struggled mightily as a family, yet as individuals and as a family they were still used for God because they kept the faith.

“These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth.”  (Hebrews 11:13)