Talk to funeral home directors, lawyers, or preachers.
You can probably talk to most anyone who has lived very long and they can tell you a story about a family that split over an inheritance.
You know the stories and their effects . ..
- Brothers who carry bitterness for decades over the way mom and dad’s inheritance was split up.
- Son-in-laws fighting over an inheritance they believe their wives should get.
- Daughters arguing and taking each other to court about mom’s guardianship, but the real motive is the money mom has and protecting their share in it.
- One funeral director years back told me he had seen a family fight in the funeral home parlor about inheritance issues.
- I have heard stories of hard feelings that go back years. I knew one man who would not obey the gospel, and his excuse was he could not forgive his brother for the way he treated him in a property dispute.
There are many solutions and things that families can do to prevent these squabbles. Parents having a will, openly communicating, and being fair all are important factors. Us determining to follow the golden rule and have the attitude of Jesus should also be applied. Christians should seek the judgment and counsel of elders, preachers, or mature brethren before going to court and dividing families for years (1 Cor. 6).
But here is my solution.
Don’t expect to get any inheritance.
It seems that most of the fights come because of money and people not getting what they feel they deserve. Sometimes they have even lived their life, often in laziness or free-spending, expecting the inheritance. They have staked their life on the inheritance. Many times it is just a matter of greed.
We all want an inheritance. But we should not expect an inheritance. We have a responsibility for our own life, debts, decisions, and future.
Parents should not be expected to not provide for themselves in their aging years, just to leave an inheritance. Parents should not be expected to plan their spending around their kids inheritance. Nor should they be controlled in whom they give their money too in their sound minds. It is their money. Whether they are 40 or 90 it is their money and it should be used to provide for their needs, wants, and charities that they desire.
Now, I know that most folks are not going to live with this mindset. But imagine what it would do to the amount of fussing and fighting over inheritance monies.
By the way, as a Christian, we have an inheritance. It is reserved in heaven for us and it cannot be taken away. We are to be laying up treasures in heaven and one day we will receive it (1 Peter 1:3-9, Mat. 6:19-21). You may be mistreated in a money matter, but forgive, and don’t harbor bitterness. Consider our Lord who left the heavenly throne, came as a slave, had nowhere to lay his head, and died on a cross (Phil. 2). Why do we let inheritance issues keep us from being loyal to Him? He must shake his head when he sees people fighting over money!
P.S. To my parents and in-laws – we may not expect it, but we would like some, so don’t go cut us out of the will because of this post!!
2 comments
I like your statement. “We have a responsibility for our own life, debts, decisions, and future.” I have seen too many who don’t accept responsibility and squander their inheritance in a few months after receiving it. It would have been much better had the parents willed their inheritance to a church, mission, children’s home, or some other charity so the money could live on doing good after their death.
Joseph, Thanks for the comment. I agree and you make a good point about many squandering their inheritance. Josh