by cheerfulmonk from www.flickr.com

Last week I wrote a blog post about being approachable.  I want to tackle the other side of that issue in this post.

I was talking to someone recently from another congregation and he said, “I know the elders just dread seeing certain people coming to them.”  Let’s be honest,  we all have certain people, especially if you are in leadership that you dread seeing coming,  Sometimes you may dread seeing that weird uncle at a family reunion because you know if you get caught by him, you will never escape his ongoing dialogue.  You may dread a work meeting with a certain other co-worker or dread them coming into your office.

In the Old Testament we find the word “dread” 33 times (ESV).  It is connected with fear, trembling, and loathing.  God put a dread of humans in the animals after the flood (Gen. 9:2).  The Egyptians and Moabites were in dread of Israel because of their large size (Ex. 1:12, Num. 22:3).  The Lord is to be feared or dreaded by His enemies (Is. 9:13, Jer. 20:11).

This Biblical term might be a little strong for the kind of dread I am speaking about in relationships.  But here is the thought I want you to consider:

Do others dread seeing you coming?

Really think about it!

Does your preacher dread you after a sermon, because he knows you will be offering a criticism or sarcastic remark?  Does the elder you are always taking your complaints to dread seeing you coming?  Does your kid’s school teacher or principal dread seeing you walk through the door?  What about your boss at work?

Here is a list of reasons why people dread seeing others coming.  Please feel free to add more reasons in the comments. 

• Because they are always complaining, grumbling or criticizing.  They rarely balance these with compliments and encouragement.
• Because they nag, picking out small things and never being happy.
• Because they talk too much and are not good listeners.
• Because they always have a reason why a certain ministry, idea, or new program will not work.
• Because they are overly needy; always asking for something (money, favor, etc.).
• Because they are negative and drain others of positive energy.
• Because they are too sensitive easily getting their feelings hurt or offended.

This post is not focused on how we should respond to these types of people.  The approachability post dealt some with this issue, but a Christian should always want to be kind, merciful, and Christ-like.  This post is about examining my own life and yours.  We all know people like I described above, my primary aim is not to change them, but to analyze our own lives and make sure we are not dreaded by others!

Don’t put the “dread” of yourself on others!

Why do you dread seeing certain ones coming?